I think that my stuff has reproductive capabilities – especially my shoes, clothes, handbags and accessories. And I think that my stuff is particularly horny and rabbit-like. Our new closet shelving gets installed in the next couple of days, but in the meantime, my stuff is spread all over the house creating a thickening, sickening, stifling layer on every surface that we own. It feels like we are being overtaken by The Blob.
Our piano, I believe, is still somewhere under the pile of shoes. We haven’t heard from it in a while. (honestly, we haven’t heard from our piano in a long while, since even before it was covered with shoes, but that’s for a whole different blog) Our dining room table is probably buckled under the weight of handbags and blouses. I don’t know. I haven’t seen it in about a month. I am truly shocked that a fire hasn’t started, because the stuff is piled so high, on top of the table, that the top layer is melted on to the chandelier.
I’m honestly not a hoarder. I give a lot to Goodwill and to the veterans. I have the tax receipts to prove it. I don’t get particularly sentimental about most of my things. I totally buy into the whole Marie Kondo (famous Japanese organization guru) idea that if something doesn’t “spark joy” in you anymore it is time to pass it on to someone who might find some sparkle of joy, by owning it. That’s why I think that my things are breeding and propagating. That is where all of the accumulation is coming from, I believe.
Now my husband would probably chime in here and say that if my theory is true, my things’ method of propagation is assisted by my shopping habits. He would say that their fertilization is highly assisted. I couldn’t argue that point, in good faith. So right now, I want to force myself to simmer in this feeling of suffocation and claustrophobia, in order to keep my future shopping habits in check.
We aren’t one of those families who has lived in the same house for 25 years. No, we have actually gone through 4-5 major moves and more than one major renovation. These have been good, solid cleansing opportunities that we have taken full advantage of, over the years. That is why I am truly shocked that we still have SO MUCH STUFF. That is why I believe that my stuff has reproductive capabilities. And that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.