Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning. I hope that you are in a peaceful, comfortable, allowing state of being right now. My friend recently reminded me of the popular quote by Dr. Seuss, as shown above. I repeated it a few times to my family, as we were in the airport, on our way home, from the wonderful, and highly anticipated summer family vacation that we had just experienced together. I thought to myself that the quote is also rather apropos for times that are awful in life, and then finally over, too. It would just be the quote in reverse, “Don’t cry because it happened. Smile because it is over.”
Anyway, back to business: Sundays are devoted to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. Poetry is the attempt to put emotion into words, like no other form of writing can. Write a poem today. Just start writing out your feelings, with no rhyme or reason (pun intended). You may surprise yourself by how beautiful and poignant your words that describe an element of your life’s experience can be. I consider Sundays to be an experimental poetry workshop for all of us. Here is my poem for today:
Hi friends! I’m back to my usual writing corner. Josie, our collie, is keeping a watchful eye on me, making sure that I am staying put, and not leaving any time soon for another adventure. She likes to herd every member of our family, right where she can keep a careful eye on all of us. Our trip was incredible, and thankfully, my youngest son, who is epileptic, remained seizure free for the duration of the trip, after suffering two major seizures, hours before our departure. Thank you for your love and prayers. I felt them and they sustained me. We are hoping and praying that this is just a matter of upping the dose of a new medication that my son has been trying since the beginning of the year. Time will tell.
I am in that digestion stage, which we all go through, after experiencing major incidents in our lives. I just experienced the trip of a lifetime, seeing things I have never seen in my lifetime, and may never see again. I also experienced a major disappointment, realizing that once again, my son’s epilepsy is determined to remain a terrorizing part of our lives. I have been through an onslaught of stimulation this past week. Now, I am just sitting with it all, trying to absorb what I want to keep, and also to find peace with what I cannot control. Mostly, I want to remain in that flow of love and faith, that allows me to move forward, to live my life in trust and in wonder, no matter what is happening to me, and around me.
Where we were traveling is an incredibly quiet place. It was probably the most quiet, peaceful place which I have ever experienced in my life. There are few roads, few cars, and even few animals, where we visited. One time my husband and I were hiking, and I asked him that we not speak for a while. I wanted to soak in the pure quiet of it all. It was intensely beautiful and healing to be able to be that quiet in myself.
I always try to make a trip, or a novel experience, a deliberate, new part of myself . What I took from this trip, was a reminder of how peaceful life can be, if we allow it. What I took from this trip, is how important it is, to find those quiet, still, peaceful moments and to sit with them and to soak them in. These still moments are the purest moments in our lives when we get to experience the most aware part of our being. These are the moments that we get reacquainted with our spirit within, and they are vital to our well-being.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Hello my dear friends and readers! I miss you. I am in one of the most beautiful, peaceful places which I have ever been on this Earth. Particularly on this trip, I have come to realize that there is a lot of “stuff” in my life that I do not need, nor do I miss, but writing my blog and communing with my readers, definitely goes on to the column of things which I miss a lot about my daily routine at home. You, my treasured friends and readers, and my writing of Adulting – Second Half on a daily basis, are right up there, (along with our three precious fur babies), on the list of Things That I Most Miss About Home. I also forgot to bring perfume on this trip and I LOVE perfume. And I am currently writing this after a full day of hiking and touring and swimming and riding for hours in a stuffy van, and so honestly, right now, my perfume is number one on the list of Things That I Most Miss About Home. (Kidding!) You (and our puppies) are definitely what I miss the most, while I am away with my family on our vacation. But right now, perfume is a close, close second.
Despite reflecting on the fact, that there are so little material things that I really do need, to make me happy, and also, realizing that it is my life’s adventures, and the memories that come with these adventures which are truly my most cherished possessions, I still can’t help myself. I buy schlock. Above is one of the pieces of schlock that I just had to have as a souvenir from my current trip, because to me it represents our family – me and the five people whom I love more than life itself. I bought this trinket because it represents yet another amazing family adventure to me, and it will serve as a reminder of our shared laughs and our shared wonders and shared joys and even our shared sorrows. Mostly, it reminds me of our shared deep, unrelenting care and love. In short, this goofy souvenir makes my heart smile, and it will for years to come.
We have probably 1000s of pictures from this trip, we have shared family stories that come from this trip which will undoubtedly last in our family lore for years to come, but this silly little kitschy dust collector, will represent all of that for me, in just one glance. I must remember this the next time I rummage through an antique store, or an estate sale. A lot of the things that we have in our lives mean so much more than the inexpensive materials that make them, or their relatively insignificance in the way of daily practical usage. Symbols and signs represent the meaning which we find in life, in simple and yet in profound ways. Religious and spiritual places are full of symbols and signs. Is it possible that my silly, googly-eyed souvenir is sacred? It is to me.
Some day, perhaps when I am long gone, someone will pick up this funny little figurine and pitch it into the garbage or they will sell it for a dollar in a garage sale, and they won’t realize it’s true significance. They won’t realize all of the love and wonder and happiness and peacefulness that it holds. They won’t hear the heart beating in it. And that’s okay. It will transform into a new form of the energy that it forever holds. The souvenir’s form never really mattered anyway. The love and the memories that it represents will never, ever go away. And that’s what makes this little rock family, one of the most beautiful things that I have ever owned.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Consider this a postcard from me, who adores you! Happy Fourth of July! I hope that you are enjoying wonderful celebrations with your family and your friends. I am enjoying a lovely, amazing adventure with my family. We are all happy and healthy. We are going to be fine. I am in a extraordinary place where apparently, every person reads on average 2.3 books per month. This is a good place. What I love best about traveling to places that are new to me, is the feeling of overwhelming, childlike wonder. I love being forced out of my own frame of reference. It’s humbling and exciting, awe-striking and rejuvenating, all at the same time.
I realize that I need some quiet time right now. I need to stay in the moment and to experience my current escapades, quietly and distraction free. So, I’m not likely to post again this week. Please forgive me. Please stay with me. I’m just lickin’ my wounds and yet feeling incredibly blessed, all at the same time. That’s just the story of life, right?
I love you. I appreciate you. I will be back with newly refreshed perspectives soon. Much love and gratitude. xo
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Hi, friends. My regular readers know that they can usually start their Fridays out with a whimsical little post from me, speaking of my frivolous favorites. Typically, I list three favorite things, or songs, or websites, or books, or whatevers, on any given Friday. But I didn’t do that today. On this Friday, this is the first time that you are hearing from me. On this Friday evening, I am sitting in an airport, awaiting another amazing adventure with my immediate family – the five people in this world, whom I love more than life itself.
No one would ever feel sorry for me. I have nice things, a decent sized savings account, and a husband of almost 27 years who loves me, and whom I adore back. I have a beautiful family, supportive friends, and overall, a really good life. Typically, I “reflect” my life. Typically, I look good in the airport. I have nice purses and luggage and clothes and I know how to put on make-up. I am well-traveled. I guess these days, I would be considered to be, what is commonly called (with an air of disdain), a privileged, white woman.
Nonetheless, today, I look a wreck. I threw on clothes that were on a heap on my floor, and make-up wasn’t even a consideration. I was seriously questioning whether me or my family would even make our flights. My husband ended up doing half my packing. I spent my morning at the hospital, a place that is fairly familiar to our family. My youngest son, who suffers from epilepsy, endured another major seizure this morning, after recuperating from a different, traumatizing seizure from the night before, when he ended in a heap up on the floor, convulsing uncontrollably, right after celebrating his brother’s birthday, with cake and ice cream. My baby’s feet were turning blue. It was hard to see if my son was really even actually breathing, so even though we are all experienced in these events, I frantically called the paramedics, yet once again, for the familiar reassurance and comfort that these incredible people always bring, along with all of their other muscles, (brawn and heart) and the heavy duty equipment which comes from being among the bravest and most compassionate people in the world.
This morning, after my son’s vitals all looked good, we conferred with his doctors. As usual, epilepsy remains a mystery. Trying to figure out epilepsy is trying to make sense out of nightmares which do not make sense. Epilepsy is always about trying to understand a personal mystery with dire consequences, and there never, ever seems to be any real, concrete, reassuring answers to give you any comfort and respite. Epilepsy makes you believe in hope, like nothing else you have ever believed in, because usually hope is the only thing you have left to hold on to, when dealing with this frustrating, personal and heart-breaking ailment.
Right now, I am writing this blog post from an airport this Friday evening. I don’t have my usual air of excitement, confidence and aura of “put togethered-ness”, that I sometimes carry along with me on my trips. I am scared out of my mind. I want to grab my son and I want to keep him in my own little cocoon, where he and I can never get hurt. Adventures be damned. I just want us to be safe and loved and alive, together.
But my son doesn’t see it the same way. My son doesn’t want epilepsy to win. And his doctors agree. So, right now, we are just doubling down on his medicine and praying that his body doesn’t rebel against his choice to live his life. And right now, I am that privileged woman, who you see walking through the airport, all decked out in fancy clothes that hide and shield, a wounded, desperate heart, praying that she is making the right decision, to roll with the punches, and to let things be as they may, as she walks behind her precious, beloved son, in a crowded corridor in any given airport.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Happy Birthday, G! I have been in awe of you since the day you were born. You’re faster. (and your mama adores you)
Friends, we are taking our annual family vacation starting tomorrow. I have honestly blogged through my every vacation and even weekend trips, in these last three years of my blogging. That being said, I don’t hold a rigid boundary on this. I might blog every day or I might not. Please don’t worry about me, and please know that I will be back to my usual form, in about a week or so, if you don’t hear from me, before then. I hope that you are finding ways to unplug this summer! It is the miracle cure for most things.
Throwback Thursday (a link to some of my most read blog posts):
