February 2021 - Page 2 of 3 - Adulting: Second- Half

We Are Open 24/7

Welcome to Adulting – Second Half, a warm, cozy, intimate museum which lovingly and thoughtfully, holds an ever-growing collection of thoughts and ideas, which provokes more thoughts and ideas, and also safely holds the emotions that flow from these unique thoughts. I am the curator of interesting ideas, that come from all over, for this lovely, little museum. Luckily, our museum has been able to remain open every single day, even throughout this horrid pandemic. Our museum is open and free to the public, and the public has always been respectful and kind when visiting. I like to think that the energy in our museum envelopes its visitors in love, and in comfort, and inclusiveness, and in curiosity, and in wonder, and in knowingness, and in validation and in security. It seems to attract good and wise people. We have cherished regular visitors who come almost every single day to Adulting – Second Half, and we have cherished fleeting visitors who are curious, but find their reading/thought/emotion preferences, elsewhere. And that’s good. Everyone should visit all different curations of thought. It is the only way to figure out what really speaks to the deepest part of oneself. Good museums should evoke wonder, possibility, longingness, and desire for adventures. Good museums should make you want more of what life has to offer. Good museums should make you more interested in yourself and what makes you tick. Good museums should make you want more.

Today’s featured exhibit comes from Norma Kamali, the famous fashion designer who created the infamous red bathing suit that Farrah Fawcett donned in “that poster”, among many other beautiful and functional clothing creations. (on an aside, who has ever had a better smile than Farrah Fawcett?? Smiles like hers, light up ballrooms.) Normal Kamali is 75 years young. She looks like she is in her forties, and she can still do the splits. And she also, has a fabulous smile. I am in the middle of reading her new book entitled, I Am Invincible. Last night, this quote, from this book, popped out for me:

“What works through the ages, always works.”

Isn’t that a lovely and true exhibit of thought? In a time period of history, when we are flying through technological advances, like we are on a high speed roller coaster, it is so refreshing to spend time being with, and loving, and appreciating the tried and the true. I think that Norma Kamali described “timeless” perfectly with her statement. Healthy living always comes down to eating wholesome foods, exercising, surrounding yourself with positive people and experiences, and getting enough rest. That fact has never changed. Nature is a salve to our souls. That fact has never changed. There is so much mystery surrounding living a human life, that is yet to be explained, and that is what really keeps us so captivated by it all. That fact has never changed. In the end, all of our quests, and all of our doings, and all of our creations, are all done in the spirit of searching for the feeling of Love, and the funny thing is, we’ve had it all along. We are Love. Our lives are often spent as a search back to the very core of ourselves which is Love, and yet Love has never left us. That fact has never changed. Love works now. Love worked all throughout history, and Love will work forever more. If I were to add to our exhibit, I would make it look like this:

“Love works through the ages, Love always works.”

Thank you so much for coming to visit Adulting – Second Half. Please stay as long as you like, and enjoy all of our past exhibits. Please come again to visit, any time, day or night. We are open 24/7. Your presence has added to the wonderful energy here, and I am so grateful for everything that you bring to our little museum of thoughts and ideas. Your Comments are always welcome. As a token of appreciation for your visitation today, please accept our daily mantra, and apply it generously to your life, and to the lives of others:

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Battery Life

“Many of us have spent our lives being batteries for others.” – Julia Cameron.

Julia Cameron is the author of The Artist’s Way. Many creatives consider that book to be the one holy book, for getting creative juices to flow. I read The Artist’s Way once. Admittedly, at the time that I read the book, I was half-hearted about doing the activities described in the book, so I can’t honestly say that it moved me, in the way that this book has inspired so many other creatives. Recently I picked up Julia Cameron’s latest book (she has written about 40 books), The Listening Path, in hopes of maybe getting a better understanding of what I may have missed in The Artist’s Way. Truthfully, I like the fact that The Listening Path is a much skinnier book than The Artist’s Way. When I started reading The Listening Path last night, and I got to the quote written above, I got up from the couch, and I found a pen, and I underlined the quote three times. In fact, I must have been pressing so hard when I underlined that sentence that the line shows through with a teeny hole, on to the opposite side of the page. I find it hard to believe that I am the first person to do this. Certainly, I am not the first mother to do this.

No one asks us to be their batteries. It is not fair to put that onus on anyone else. But it is something we motherly types tend to do, and to become. I was having a text conversation with some friends yesterday, and we were talking about the fact that we will never stop worrying about our children, until forever. (and we are all mothers of mostly adult children) Yet, when we took on the role of “mother”, we never fully understood the depth of that responsibility, nor also the mother role’s deep, echoing emotional reach. When we put on the “mother robe”, it never fully occurred to us, that the mother robe is not removable, ever, and it can be a heavy robe, at times. When we entered into motherhood, it was like entering into any new adventure, like a new job, or a budding romantic relationship, or a new place to live – you have some ideas and expectations, of what you are getting yourself into, but you are never fully prepared. Pregnancy or adoption, is signing you on to an experience that you will have some level of responsibility for, (and also a whole heap full of vulnerability, and love like you’ve never felt, and sometimes even a few negative emotions like guilt, fear and resentment) for the rest of your life, and perhaps even beyond, without escape. And you sign on to this mother role, without fully grasping what this lifetime role really means for you, and for your children. Because no matter how good a storyteller, experience cannot really ever be fully captured in its entire scope and its full essence. Experience must be felt and it must be absorbed, while it is happening to you.

Therefore, when we mothers reach this emptying nest stage of our lives, where our family members are coming into their own “extended life battery” charge, it’s a jarring experience. We complain about being “drained”, but then we sometimes feel a little useless and listless, like a dangling plug. But yet we are also excited about the prospect of recharging our own batteries. Still, it feels rather foreign to us, to allow ourselves to take most of our own power back, for our own dreams and for our own goals. It feels a little strange and a little nerve-wracking, yet also extremely exciting and reinvigorating, to nurture our own selves, and our own passions, with the energy reserves that we had mostly given away, when raising our families. It is one of those times in life, like entering any new adventure, where we have some ideas and expectations, but we are never fully prepared. This is a new experience and experience must be felt and absorbed, while it is happening to you.

The interesting thing to note is that even now, in this empty nest stage of parenting, by giving the majority of your energy stores back to yourself, you are still, inadvertently, doing a crucial part of your mothering role. You are showing your children to value themselves, and to value their individual lives and dreams, and this example, might very well be the most important lesson which you ever impart to your precious children. You are freeing your children from feeling emotionally responsible for your life, and for your happiness. You are the one, bravely pulling the plug, knowing that your loved ones have the natural ability to keep themselves charged. You also know that a Universal Everlasting charge is always available to them, as it is, and has always been, available to you, for the rest of all of your lives.

We know by now, that our mother robe never comes off. And with experience under our belts, we fully understand what that means. But truthfully, as mothers, we don’t want the mother robe to come off, but still, it feels good to remember that we are the ones wearing the robes. Just as mothering is a profound pleasure and a great privilege, it is also a special pleasure and a privilege, to get reacquainted with, and curious about, the interesting, and multi-faceted “wearer of the robe,” and where her next adventures in life will lead her.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

We all know that change is the only constant, but change usually does come in quite subtly, doesn’t it? The few, shocking, sometimes devastating, “change your life in a moment” times, are thankfully pretty rare, but at least those changes are obvious.

We just made the last payment of our second son’s undergraduate college education. He graduates from college this April. Two down, two to go. It’s surreal, reflecting on that fact. There is a long period of time when your kids are in their elementary school/middle school ages, that you think that things are never going to change. Each year seems mostly “the same old/same old”, until your first child goes to high school. From then on, the changes go into warp speed. (Interestingly, the changes in my face and my body, seemed to have gone into warp speed, at the same time that my kids started into their high school and college years. Everything is interconnected, right? It’s so not fair.)

We’ve all gotten a hard lesson in change this past year, haven’t we? A lot of these changes have more of the “in your face” variety. (you remember your face, right? It’s that part of your body which spends a lot of its waking hours underneath a mask.) What have these past year’s changes, changed in you? What have you learned about yourself this past year? What has changed for the better? What has changed for the worse? What changes would you like to see in yourself and in the world, going forward? These are the questions which I am pondering for myself, lately.

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Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday Funday

I love nerds. I’m pretty sure that I am a nerd. I think that we nerds are just oblivious nonconformists. People think that intentional nonconformists don’t care about what people think, but that is not true. Intentional nonconformists are rebels with a cause. These instigating people are often looking to get a lot of attention, and a rise out of people. Often the rebels care about what people think, every bit as much as the strict, careful conformists do. Oblivious nonconformists are just their authentic selves. My eldest son once dated a very confident young lady (I think that she was a physics major), who would sometimes wear a t-shirt that said “NERD” in lovely, fancy lettering. I loved her for that . . . . Nerds rule. We all have a little wee bit of “nerd” in us. Find it and embrace it. You’ll have more fun. Hint: your nerdiness can usually be found in activities that you enjoy so much, that you would do it to the point of abandon, if you allowed yourself to be free. Whatever activity which you like to do, so much, whether it be reading, or dancing, or painting, or singing, or wood carving, or fish keeping, or collecting cow figurines, that you might forget to eat, or to sleep, or forget where you even are, in the midst of doing said activity. When you leave judgment out of the equation (who cares if you are “good” at your favorite activity or not – in other words, who cares what anybody thinks??) and you do whatever activity speaks to the most joyful part of yourself, and you do it to pure abandon, you are experiencing your inner nerdiness and geekdom. Doesn’t it feel great?? Again, nerds rule.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends. I know that this holiday can be triggering for some people who are not currently in a romantic relationship. It can even be stressful and awkward for people who are in romantic relationships. I have heard Valentine’s Day discounted as a “Hallmark Holiday” many times over the years. Whatever it means (or doesn’t mean) to you, why not let Valentine’s Day be a day to celebrate the feeling of Love? Why not let it be a reminder to all of us, about just how good it feels to share the realest part of us? We are all made of Love, at our very cores. It feels so good to love our lovers, and our families, and our friends, and our pets, and our homes, and our communities, and our creations, and our vocations, and our vacations, and our hobbies, and our delicacies, and our quiet times, and our crazy times, and ourselves . . . . . Love is the main motivation and reason as to why we really do anything. Maybe on Valentines Day, what we are really celebrating, is the feeling of Love, which is the main reason why we put any effort into living. If nothing else, use this day to give Love back to you. You are full of Love. Love is eternal and always replenishes, so don’t be afraid to share your Love, ever.

My regular readers know that on Sundays I share poems written by me, or by some other poet who has moved me with their words. Please feel free to share your poems in my Comments section. This is a safe spot to share. Below is today’s poem. It is written by a poet who goes by “m.k.”. I think that this poem describes unconditional love, beautifully.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

It’s That Time of the Year

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It is Girl Scout cookie time! I showed my support for my local Girl Scouts, by eating a box of Tagalongs last night. My dinner plans for tonight, involve at least one sleeve of Thin Mints. I was walking out of the store yesterday, and a sweet little girl, with a sash of hard-earned badges, waved for me to come towards her (but not too close, it’s still Covid season . . . .sigh). Under her little green mask, I knew that she was smiling, and her muffled words said, “Come here, lady. I’ll lead you to where the pile of heavenly cookies lay, and you can choose from the rainbow of choices.” It was like seeing an angel on Earth. I followed her, like she was the Pied Piper, followed by a trail of desperately hungry, always-on-a-diet, middle-aged women.

Don’t praise me. It was my duty to support the young ladies. I was a Girl Scout myself, at one time. It was the least that I could do, for my community. In fact, our current stash of Girl Scout cookies, purchased just last night, has become alarmingly low, already. I may have to look for my little green friend again today, and I pray that her stash hasn’t been sold out, purchased by other community supporters.

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Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Now and Forever Friday

It is easier to imagine being incandescently happy on Fridays, isn’t it? I was once told to never put LED light bulbs in crystal chandeliers. Only the incandescent light bulbs are able to bring out the highest form of all of the rainbows of color and beauty from the crystals. Shine bright, friends, it’s Friday!!!

On Fridays, my regular readers know that I discuss my favorites of the material world. I tell you about three of my favorite products, TV shows, food items, songs, etc. and I strongly encourage you to add your favorites to my Comments section. It’s good to have favorite things to look forward to experiencing in our every day lives! Here are my favorites for today:

Strawberry KitKats – My daughter wants to visit Japan one day, mostly because she is enthralled with their many flavors of KitKats. Would you believe that there are 40 different flavors of KitKats?? You don’t have to go to Japan to try them, either. You can find some of the different flavors on Amazon, or in stores like World Market. My daughter’s favorite flavor is the Matcha green tea KitKat. (not my favorite . . . at all) I am in love with the strawberry KitKats because they taste exactly like my favorite Good Humor Strawberry Shortcake ice cream treat, yet the KitKat is smaller, not as messy and it has less calories. It’s worth a bite. You won’t regret it!

In and Of Itself – I hesitate to mention that this is a “magic show”, because if you are like me, that might turn you off immediately. In and Of Itself is sort of a magic/mentalist show, but it is also an autobiography acted out on stage. In and Of Itself is a show that is incredible, emotionally charged, and one that makes you think. It is a rare show that makes you want to watch it again, in order to catch any of the nuances that you may have missed, but this is one of those shows. Best of all, In and Of Itself is not part of a series. It really is a “one and done”, so it won’t become a time-suck, couch magnet experience. Be prepared to be amazed!

“I’m Not a Cat” Video:

Enjoy your weekend, my wonderful friends and readers!! Get your laughs, however you can. See you tomorrow.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Love in the Stars

I’ve mentioned before that I like to read my horoscopes sometimes. This is not so much for predictions of the future, but more so, how these particular horoscopes have the tendency to bring my own inner wisdom and questions, bubbling up to the surface. Maybe these astrologers are just plain wonderful writers, to me. I don’t know. That being said, I suppose because of Valentines Day approaching, there has been more talk about “love” than usual, by the astrologers.

Earlier this week, the Astrotwins reminded me that, “No one owes you love. It is a generous gift.”

And Holiday Mathis says this, “Once given, love is yours, will not expire and cannot be stolen from you.”

Just as these quotes brought up my own inner thoughts and feelings and questions, I’ll let them do the same for you. I will say that the first quote was a good reminder to keep my expectations in check, for myself and of others, and the second quote reminded me of all of the people whom I have shared love with, who have now passed on. That love is there. It will never expire. Everlasting love is a beautiful thing.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Way Showers

I went to an “event” yesterday and I actually woke up feeling like I have things to write about. When you actually go and do things, you end up having stories to experience and then, stories to tell. Life felt a little “normal” again, for the first time in a long time, yesterday.

Yesterday the “event” that I attended, was my daughter’s first high school tennis match, of the season. And she won it. But it was a complete nail biter. She was down 3-6, came back 7-6, but then she and her very worthy competitor, ended up tying 8-8. They had to play a tie breaker, which my entirely exhausted daughter ended up winning, 11-9. My nails are bloody nubs. When the match was finally over, I was reminded of the author Glennon Doyle’s most famous quote, “We can do hard things.” I told my daughter what I liked best about her victory, was that she will always have the memory of it, in her back pocket. When she is struggling with any difficult situation in her life, she can think back to this moment, and know for a fact, that she is full of fortitude, perseverance, and calmness under pressure. She can do hard things. She has proven it to herself.

Yesterday’s tennis match wasn’t exactly “normal.” We have good winter weather here in Florida, therefore the matches are held outside. There was no communal snack table, no hugging, no high fives, nor any handshakes after the matches. Each competing duo was handed a fresh can of balls before their games. I was starkly reminded that it was during tennis season last year, when the reality of the coronavirus pandemic was truly setting in for all of us. At the last high school tennis match which I attended (in March of 2020), the coach told the players that the rest of the season had been cancelled. He also told them, that after spring break, they were not likely coming back to school. Unfortunately, he was right.

While I was at the match yesterday, I also partook in one of my other vices – eavesdropping. I have mentioned on the blog before that I like to eavesdrop. I am not proud of that fact, but I own it. As I was watching my daughter play, I overhead a group of high school girls talking. One girl said, “I have this condition called ‘anxiety’.” That statement started a chorus of statements: “Anxiety! Oh yes, I have that! My therapist says I have that, too. I hate anxiety. I can’t sleep! I can’t drive.”

Wow. At that moment I wanted to run over and group hug all of them. But of course, I couldn’t do it, because 1.) Covid and 2.) I was eavesdropping, which is a rude and hurtful thing to do. So, I just sat in my deserved little cloud of sadness, and I reflected a little bit. And I thought about the blog that I was going to write today.

I would like to pretend that these girls’ anxiety issues were all concerning this awful pandemic, which has a lot of us people, all wound up in tight little balls, these days, but I would be lying to myself. Quite honestly, I am sure that I could have overheard that conversation, at any time during all of the years which my children have been in high school, starting around the year 2010. Three of my middle son’s classmates committed suicide in high school. My daughter’s class just lost a classmate to suicide a couple of months ago. I know for a fact that my own children experience anxiety. I’ve witnessed it, first hand.

I believe life is mostly meant to be savored and enjoyed. I truly do. But do I live that? Am I an example of that? Do I model a life that is mostly “peace and joy”? Do I take any responsibility for my own peace and joy, or do I act as if I am a victim of circumstance? These are hard questions. The answers are hard to face sometimes.

Over the years, the women before us have fought hard for the rights which we women have today, such as the right to vote, to serve in the military, and to become vice president of the United States. It is easy to take these gifts for granted. In our “Declaration of Independence”, we were all promised the right to “the pursuit of happiness.” The women before us, worked hard and tirelessly, to make sure that we women had the equal right to “the pursuit of the happiness.” Are we doing our part in that quest?

I believe that happiness is a by-product of what we do. Is what I am doing on a daily basis bringing me happiness? Do my relationships with the others in my life, bring me happiness? Does my relationship with myself bring me happiness? Am I living to my own standards, or am I trying to live to the impossible standards of “fake world” as depicted on social media? Do I have a strong connection with my spirituality, a faith that makes me feel whole, not one that separates me from others with the sense that I am “holier than thou”?

Why are these questions important? They are important because I am a model to my daughter, and I am a model to your daughters and to your granddaughters, and to that beautiful group of girls, discussing, in earnest, their shared condition of anxiety. Kids listen to what we do, not what we say. Kids are excellent at honing in on hypocrites. After raising four almost grown children, and having made many an eloquent lecture (that I myself, was pretty impressed with), I learned that those loquacious words fell mostly on deaf ears, especially if I wasn’t walking my talk.

What are we modeling to the women of the future, friends? If I am honest, that group of girls, could have easily been me, and any one of my group of friends, in any of my various stages of my life. And that’s okay. It’s good to have friends to lean on for support. But it is also good to have friends to savor life with. It is good to have friends to laugh with, and to sit with, in awe of the pure beauty of each other, our friendships, and of the incredible, nature all around us. What are we modeling to the women of the future? “Don’t feel anxiety, girls, but I just changed my outfit fifteen times, because I feel so insecure about how I look. Don’t feel anxiety, girls, but it is important that you look lovely, have a great job, raise amazing kids (because if they aren’t amazing, it is all your fault), and sustain a romantic, exciting, successful marriage through it all. And if any of these areas of life are faltering, I judge myself mercilessly. But please don’t feel anxiety, girls. Seriously, life is fun, once you are doing a perfect job at getting good grades at school, getting into a good college with an athletic scholarship, landing a cute boyfriend who treats you well, and still being able to fit into your skinny jeans. Then, you can be just like “me.” Isn’t life fun? Why do you have anxiety, girls?”

Our daughters, our nieces, our granddaughters, our friends’ daughters will learn to have less anxiety, when we are the way showers of life lived with less anxiety. Our daughters will practice self-care, self-acceptance, and self-love, when we are the way showers of self-care, self-acceptance and self-love. Our daughters, our women of the future, will learn to have meaningful, purposeful, interesting lives of love and wonder and peace and calm, when we show them that this is possible. Our young women of the future will learn to love and to savor themselves, and to savor the very act of just experiencing life, when we teach them that they are lovable just because of who they are, not for what they do. When we show our girls, that life is a wonderful journey to be experienced in awe, in hope, in joy, in peace, and in exhilaration, our example gives them permission to live life the way it was meant to be lived. Will they still experience some anxiety? Of course. We all will. Anxiety is a part of life. But it can be a small footnote. Anxiety can mostly be experienced as a flutter in our stomachs, as a sign of exciting things to come. And let’s remember, when we are living in the fullness of the gift of just experiencing the astonishing miracle of living a human life on Earth, anxiety is easily noticed and then it is just as easily let go, as nothing more than a passing sensation.

Think of a young woman whom you love with all of your heart. Think of how joyful you want this young woman to feel, most days of her life. What does that look like? Do want her to think that she has to have a Louis Vuitton purse, work in a job which she hates, to make the money to purchase that purse, have her stay in toxic relationships that make her feel terrible, just for the sake of having relationships, and to spend hours of her precious life, photo shopping her real life into a fake online picture, to make her life appear “perfect”? Is this what we believe will bring our future young women happiness? What are we modeling to the women of the future, friends? Let’s choose to be the way showers of the wisdom we have obtained. Love and happiness is an inside job. Life is mostly meant to be enjoyed. Savor life. You don’t have to win at it. There is nothing “to win.” Life and love is given to you freely. Happiness is yours, as a by-product of doing and experiencing what uniquely brings you joy. You are an important piece of this tapestry called Life, and so is everyone else. You know this fact. I know this fact. Let’s live it. Let’s be the way showers to our young women. Let’s make the path easier and lighter and brighter for our young women, as it was made easier for us, by the mighty women who came before us. Let’s let anxiety become a barely noticeable footnote, in the otherwise amazing adventure of living Life. It will be good for our future girls. It will be good for us. Let’s be purposeful in our duty. Let’s be Way Showers.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Broken Crayons

“Trauma breaks you into pieces. Healing teaches you broken crayons still color.” – Inner Practioner

I don’t think there is anyone on Earth, who can say that this coronavirus situation hasn’t caused them any amount of pain and trauma. If there is such a person, they are either in deep denial, or a complete sociopath. Even if your own life has been relatively unaffected, it still breaks one’s heart to see the news stories of others who have lost loved ones, to this disease.

So with the assumption that my readers are people of feelings and empathy, I am going to go with the idea that we all have suffered some amount of trauma, concerning the coronavirus. It’s okay to admit that you have undergone some trauma. In fact, the only way to heal from any kind of trauma, is to admit to yourself, that it actually happened in the first place. That is usually the hardest part. If you keep trying to artificially scab over, or put a band-aid on a festering wound, it won’t heal properly. You’ve got to dig deep into the wound, pull out all the growing infection, and administer the correct daily medicine, for the pain to properly heal. This is what allows the trauma to be a thing (or a scar) of the past, and not an ongoing, unconscious driver that negatively affects elements of your every day life and relationships.

I think that the reason why a lot of people choose denial, versus dealing with their trauma, is two-fold. First, people think that it is strong to gut through situations, keeping a stiff upper lip. Somewhere along the way, we got the strange notion that admitting that you have a problem, makes you weak. How messed up is that! It is the opposite of strength, to stay in denial about a situation that has caused you pain. Still, we often choose to stay in denial because we fear that if we squarely face everything about how a certain trauma has affected us, we are afraid that we will fall apart at the seams, and stay stuck forever. And that is the second reason, why we keep our traumas, unfortunately, all bottled up.

When we finally get brave enough to look at our traumas honestly, and with sincere acceptance, that is when the real strength and healing begins. That is when we fully understand that broken crayons are still able to make the same vivid colors and artwork that they did before. And you know what else? Typically broken crayons end up being stronger than when they were whole. They aren’t as fragile. It is much harder to break a small piece of a crayon, than a long, elegant, fresh crayon, just coming out of the box. Also broken crayons recognize themselves in the other broken pieces, and that is where the truest compassion arises, giving the artwork of life, an even deeper depth of color, and meaning, and emotion, and joint, mass strength.

What’s a little broken in you, since the pandemic started? Has the pandemic triggered old, unhealed traumas in you? Have you allowed yourself to shed some cleansing tears? Have you reached out to others for support? Have you allowed yourself to be a little broken, realizing that even the most “perfect crayons” have little imperfections and will wear down a little bit, over the years? (Remember that the shrinking down of a crayon, comes from love and use, over the years. Everyone knows the favorite crayon in the box. It is the one crayon that is barely there, from being so useful and loved so much. It’s the “Velveteen Rabbit” of crayons.) What if, right this very minute, you had your favorite crayon in front of you, in your hand? You know the one. Your favorite crayon is that “go-to color” that you always looked for in that big, old Crayola 64 box, and you always tried to incorporate it somewhere in every one of your “masterpieces”. My favorite Crayola crayon was called “Burnt Sienna”. Now, what if, right now, you took your favorite crayon between your fingers and you broke it like the “Karate Kid”? (Don’t pretend like you never did that. Or at least, don’t pretend that you never witnessed that naughty boy in class who you secretly had a crush on, breaking the crayons with one hand, as you feigned shock and disgust, but secretly thought that this move was kind of cool and daring. . . . .until he got his dirty mitts on the Burnt Sienna crayon.) So now, your favorite crayon is broken right in front of you and you are required to draw a lovely picture of your life. You are drawing a picture of a path, leading into the sunshine of your future. The path is your life. It must be drawn in your favorite color, the one that really speaks to you, from the depths of your soul. So you pick up your broken crayon, and you cradle it or put a little tape on it, and you understand that while the crayon is a little broken, it can still draw your path in the very color that you had been envisioning that path to look like. And now you also have a little spare piece of crayon, in your back pocket, for those times in the future, when the path gets a little rocky again, and you need to draw on, a new direction. It is almost as if, in some ways, the brokenness of the crayon, has multiplied its capabilities. You now have the knowledge, that came from experience, that you will be ready for that rocky piece of road, up ahead in your path, because you now have the inner depth, and the experience, and the acceptance, to know that broken crayons will always have the ability to draw and to color, until they are completely used up, and then disappear into the horizon, and into the completed master piece of Love.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.