For the first time in a long time, I am going to attend a New Year’s Eve party tonight. Typically, I stay in, and do more quiet, spiritual reflection. Ironically, all of my horoscopes are telling me that this particular New Year’s Eve would be a good year to stay in and do quiet, spiritual reflection. Ha!
Here are some good NYE toasts, ranging from funny to serious, to share tonight, starting with funny, moving to serious:
“Here’s health to those I love and wealth to those who love me.”
“May all your troubles during the coming year be as short as your New Year’s resolutions.”
“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.” — Bill Vaughn
“He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; he who makes one is a fool.” — F.M. Knowles
“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.” — Edith Pierce
“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language, and next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.” — T.S. Eliot
Happy New Year’s Eve, friends! However you bring the new year in, even if it is deep in slumber, I am very excited to connect with you next year!!! It’s going to be a great year. 🙂
Over a decade ago, some friends of mine from college and I, decided to try a little experiment. We were in our late thirties and we had well-established families. We all had at least three kids (my family had the biggest family, consisting of four children). We thought that it could be neat and fun, to attempt a shared family vacation. We imagined renting a huge, rambling beach house, taking turns making meals, picking restaurants, sharing laughs, fun, memories and getting a slowed-down chance to really get to know each other’s babies and husbands, a little bit better. Going into it, I knew that this particular trip was either going to be absolutely fantastic or extremely hellish, nothing in between. Our family was accustomed to taking our own private family trips. We already always had enough chaos going on between the six of us. I couldn’t fully fathom what adding eight more adults and twelve more kids into the mix, was going to bring, other than knowing that it would be either exponentially great or exponentially horrible. It turns out that the trip was FABULOUS! Exponentially.
We had such an amazing time. My favorite memory of that long ago get-together, is all twenty-six of us, combing the beach at night, with head lamps and flashlights and buckets, foraging for night crabs. Some of us got cut by pincers (probably deservedly) and some of us were never agile enough to catch a crab (me and some of the babies), but the merriment, the excitement, and the in-the-moment joyousness of the event is something that I will never, ever forget. The kooky babysitters who we hired, making shell and sea grass jewelry with the young ladies of the group, my friend who grew up in Baltimore teaching us the proper way to truly get your money’s worth out of getting all of the meat (and I mean ALL) out of a boiled crab, and the early morning jaunts to the decadent doughnut shop, are all part of a wonderful collection of recollections, that are kept in a treasured, safe corner of my still solid memory bank. The evening card games ended each night in hilarity (and even some tension), as all of us adults were a little more hyper-competitive than any of us ever wanted to admit. Then, even later into the night, one of us couples would steal off into the night, climbing the dunes, under the romantic moonlight, knowing that our babies were safe and sound, with trusted, loving friends. It was a beautiful experience. The only negative thing that I brought back from that trip was that one of my friends introduced my children to peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches. I was never able to avoid the jars of marshmallow fluff at the grocery store after that trip, without all of my children chorusing together, in loud begging and whining tones, for us to purchase at least one jar. My house was forever-filled with extremely sticky, dirty fingerprints after that vacation. And it was totally worth it.
Unfortunately, we were never really able to completely recapture that multi-family beach experience again. The following years included the recession, out of state moves, marriage break-ups, friendship shake-ups, and the inevitable over-taxed schedules of maturing families. Our family, having the eldest of the children and having been the ones who moved the furthest away, was never able to be part of some of the smaller get-togethers that happened after that wonderful inaugural event. So, earlier this month, when one of my girlfriends offered up her house, for a New Year’s Eve reunion of this wonderful group of friends and our families, we jumped on it! The kids are all older now, mostly in their late years of high school and college. Only my two youngest kids will be coming along on the trip with my husband and I, this go around. Some of the other kids of the group have to stay home for work obligations, as well. Us parents have a few more wrinkles and a lot more gray hair (and in some cases, less hair) than we had on that long-ago beach trip, over ten years ago. Still, I no longer have to question which way this trip is going to go. This time, I already know that it is going to be fabulous, and I have an empty vault in my memory bank, just waiting to be filled up with the best treasures of all – grand memories, the kind of memories that make up a person’s life.
Today I woke up with that overwhelming feeling of the need to get organized. The urge to purge has overcome me. The inevitable mess of the holidays, literally, figuratively, and emotionally, is on my last nerve. That internal switch has been turned, and the decorations have lost their charm. I am starting to feel very claustrophobic in the maze of lights, crumpled up wrapping paper, and Santa’s face everywhere I turn. My task master from within, has clawed her way out and there is no turning back. We are headed out of town for a few days over New Year’s and I have set the reset button. I want things back to a steady, normal, even keel. Everything. Now. Stat. My family can’t stand me right now. And I don’t care.
Sometimes when this need for order overcomes me (and believe, no one would ever accuse me of being a “neatnik”), I become almost maniacal. I think by the end of the holidays, everything feels so out of control to me. My urgent need to get back to my false sense of security, almost feels like a mental illness. The out of control eating, drinking, spending, staying up late, piles of things, piles of laundry, piles of dishes, tasks piling up on the to-do list, reaches its crescendo and for lack of a better term, the Soup Nazi (from Seinfeld) comes out of me, demanding that everyone gets in line, doesn’t goof off and does exactly what I say, in strict order. Then, I promise, no one will get hurt.
The Soup Nazi version of me doesn’t come out very often. She typically rears her ugly head only on moving days, the week before school starts, on long, involved, overstimulating family vacations, and at the end of Christmas break. My family probably feels a sense of relief, no longer walking on eggshells, wondering when she was going to pop out of nowhere. They knew she was coming. They saw signs of her, in my cracked facade and my hair that was starting to look like a head of snakes. I feel sad for them, because there is nothing I can do to stop her. Pandora’s box cannot be closed. SNM (soup Nazi me) has already insisted that everyone start ripping down the actual cardboard boxes lying all over the house, and get them to the recycling center, before SNM decides to make a holy, roaring BONFIRE out of them. Currently, the children (even the adult ones) are chained to the kitchen table, writing thank you notes. As much as none of us (including me), are not particularly fond of the Soup Nazi version of me, I think we all feel secretly relieved. She brings order to our family universe. SNM brings everything down to a simple, mathematical equation that makes sense. (Happy Mom/Wife = Happy Life) She convinces us all, that as long as we cross everything off the to-do list, in a perfect orderly fashion, all will be right with the world. Then, SNM will calm down, disappear and allow happy, calm, peaceful me to take the family helm again. And we can all bring the new year in, with a smile.
Happy Friday!!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! In case you haven’t noticed, one of my favorite activities during the holiday season, is sleeping in. Late. Readers, Fridays are devoted to Favorites here at Adulting – Second Half. On Fridays, I list three favorite things, activities, beauty products, websites, songs, whatevers and I encourage you to do the same in the Comments section. Please check out previous Friday posts for more favorites to make your life fabulous, fun and fantastic.
Today’s favorites:
Smathers & Branson – This company is known for its needlepoint belts. They also carry needlepoint key fobs and sunglasses holders and wallets and dog collars. The items are pricey, but that is okay, because the items are priceless and top quality and can be personalized with a monogram. I got my husband a belt with our college alma mater on it, and he LOVES it! They are a perfect shop for a man who already has everything.
Awkward Family Photos 2020 Calendar – My husband buys this calendar for me every year, just so that he can hear me laugh every morning, when I rip off the old day and look at the new “photo of the day.” One of my close friends bought me Anne Wilson Schaef’s Pageaday calendar, too. I find Anne Wilson Schaef to be so insightful and inspiring. Go get your Barnes and Noble gift card that you got for Christmas, and go pick out your favorite Pageaday calendar or go to their website for all of their offerings. You are bound to find something that speaks to you there. My friend wants us to write just one thing we are grateful for that day, on the back of each calendar page and put them in a jar. On NYE 2020, we will then have a jar full of gratefulness to reflect on, as we bring in the new year.
Enchant Christmas – Every year, three cities get gifted with an opportunity to visit Enchant Christmas, which is a fabulous light show (thousands of Christmas lights), a walk-thru maze, with a Christmas market, professional carolers, a band, a bar and a winding ice skating rink. We were lucky enough to live near to one of these cities, this year. The event was housed in our baseball arena. Last night, our entire family plus our middle son’s girlfriend, enjoyed ice skating together through twinkly light tunnels, laughing, falling, and honestly, just feeling “simply enchanted.” Don’t miss this opportunity if it comes to your city next.
Well, we’re off to a family beach day. That’s one of my favorite things about living in Florida. I was ice skating last night and beaching it today! I hope you all are having a fabulous holiday season!
Today is a day to just exhale. Whether your Christmas was busy, and crazy and fun, or solitary and sad, or a little bit of both, exhale. Let it go. Whether Christmas zipped by and you wonder where it went, or whether it crawled by, and you just wondered when it was ever going to be over, exhale. Just be. Whether you loaded Christmas with a bunch of expectations or you went into it with an observant curiosity, just relax. Exhale. Whatever you are feeling right now – sad and disappointed that Christmas is over for another year, relieved and joyous that Christmas is over for another year, or a little bit of both, that’s okay. Observe the feelings and then set them free. Exhale. You are enough. You are lovely. You just experienced another big holiday season and whatever that does to you – energizes you, depletes you, inspires you, depresses you, fills your heart, frustrates your heart, puts you in a fog of memories and quietness, or puts you into action of cleaning and orderliness, it’s all okay. It’s all good. Exhale. Just breathe. Just be.
“One Of The Most Glorious Messes In The World Is The Mess Created In The Living Room On Christmas Day. Don’t Clean It Up Too Quickly.” — Andy Rooney
I’m out here, at my desk. The Christmas Tree is behind me in the foyer. Santa brought a lot of presents and they are all tucked under the tree, just buzzing to be opened. Now that my kids’ ages span 15-23, a little role reversal has happened. My husband and I are up and giddy, waiting for the kids to wake up. We have the dogs in an excited state. Maybe I can get Ralphie to go rouse the kids.
I am thinking of all of you. May all of the good, bright, wonderful things about Christmas be yours today. The pastor last night talked about how darkness and light cannot coexist. When light is let in, darkness disappears. May your Christmas be as light and as bright, as any Christmas that you have ever experienced! Merry, merry Christmas, my readers, my friends, my fellow journeyers! (and excited children at heart – GO HAVE FUN! Stay in the light!!!)
“Were I A Philosopher, I Should Write A Philosophy Of Toys, Showing That Nothing Else In Life Need To Be Taken Seriously, And That Christmas Day In The Company Of Children Is One Of The Few Occasions On Which Men Become Entirely Alive.” — Robert Lynd
I wanted to write about my favorite character in the TV series TheMandalorian, but a person named Corey Plante says it better than I ever could. He says this:
“Everybody loves Baby Yoda on The Mandalorian, and the bounty hunter protagonist is undeniably very cool, but the best and most under-appreciated character on the Disney+ show is definitely the Ugnaught named Kuiil who appears in the first two episodes to toss some no-nonsense shade around like a hilarious, crotchety old Boomer that you actually want to hang out with.
Imagine being able to instantly end any conversation you wanted by uttering three simple words: “I have spoken.” Feeling trapped in an awkward conversation at a party? “I have spoken.” Walk away. Exhausted by family meals during the holidays? “I have spoken.” Leave the room. If you assertively end a conversation early, nobody can argue with what you said. What if we all ended every conversation this way?
For the pig-like alien Kuiil, who speaks directly and without hesitation, this is how he ends every conversation. He comes across as deeply rational and admirable, even if many people might mistake him for a bit of a jerk.”
Kuill is based on Nick Nolte. Despite being a short, pig-nosed alien, the likeness Kuill has to Nick Nolte is uncanny and of course, he speaks in Nick Nolte’s voice. Nick Nolte is a very talented actor, now aged 78, who has certainly gone through some wild rides in his life. Who can’t conjure that image of him, in that greatly parodied mugshot of a very disheveled Nick Nolte, having been arrested for drunk driving some time in the early 2000s? When I googled Nick Nolte in conjunction with redemption, a movie called Warrior kept coming up, where the above meme came from. I have not watched Warrior. Apparently, the movie is about a recovering alcoholic, who is hired to manage his estranged son, who is a wrestler in the MMA.
Why am I writing about Star Wars, and Nick Nolte and MMA extreme fighting, on Christmas Eve? Are you concerned that I have finally lost it? No. I’m okay. I am just thinking a lot about redemption. We are coming close to the end of the year, and to the end of a decade. We have an amazing fresh start available to all of us, on the brink of a whole new decade, a whole new year, a whole new day. My beliefs are that Christmas is a lot about redemption, and that very hope that is available to all of us. I don’t expect you to share my beliefs. As the beginning quote by Socrates states, we must find our own truths and to truly believe these truths, they must come from inside the deepest cores of our own knowing and understanding, not from anyone or anything outside of us. Still, no matter what your beliefs are, I hope that you can find that tiny manger within yourself, and find that healthy, beautiful, innocent, yet so, so, so powerful infant of light, inside that manger, always there for you and always available to you. I hope that you can find some quiet time to yourself for reflection and gratitude and getting your vibration back to a calm, harmonic, and peaceful tranquility, and I hope that you and I, experience that stillness, that pure Love, throughout the holiday season and into the new year, and throughout the new decade.
Merry Christmas Eve, my friends!! I hope that this juncture in the holiday season, this beginning of the ending of the year 2019, the near end of the decade known as the 2010s, has you in a relatively peaceful place – a place of acceptance, a place of less resistance, a place of hope and a place of healing. A place of wholeness. A place of redemption. As always, know how grateful I am for your presence in my life. I am so grateful for your time, your feedback, your talents, your inspiration and your support. I hold you in my heart always.
My husband’s colleague texted him from another state. He and his family are staying with their extended family this week for Christmas. He said that the house is crazy and chaotic, full of kids and dogs. He told my husband that it must be like living with our family.
We started having kids less than two years after we were married. We had four children in the span of eight years and we’ve always had at least two dogs and other pets, in the mix, throughout the years. This past fall has been strange and surreal, with it being just my husband, myself and my daughter at home, with the two fur babies, who are at least, out of their puppy stage (sort of) .
The three of us have become accustomed to a fair amount of “quiet”, only having to go to the grocery store once a week, laundry always being clean and hung up, and jugs of milk actually going sour before we drank/used it all. I better understand now, why people have always said to me, “I don’t know how you do/did it.” With the college boys home the last week or so, and the grown son coming home tonight, the quiet moments are sparse, the grocery runs are daily, the stinky laundry is piling up at a monumental rate and we’ve run out of milk more than once, already. We are all whizzing around in different directions and it is hard to keep up with everyone’s comings and goings, as hard as I try. The dogs have seemed to pick up on this whirling energy and they are behaving like two furry toddlers, way too hopped up on sugar. It is chaotic. It is crazy. And it is love. It is us. This is us. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Sundays are all about the rhymes. Soul Sundays are poetry workshop days here at Adulting – Second Half. Let’s have fun with this! Please share your poems, your poetry, your songs, your raps, your ditties. Here’s my goofy one today:
My Little Old Mug
Oh my little mug
I wish I could give you a hug
For all of the pleasure that you’ve given me.
Instead I must throw you out
Since I’m always spouting about
Not becoming a hoarder.
My daughter pointed out your age and your cracking
Which means your drink holding ability is lacking
And there is really no point in keeping you.
As the family chimed in, about my reminding them of expiration dates,
Handing them Goodwill bags to fill, giving their old things new fates,
I just couldn’t be hypocritical.
Little mug, I considered hiding you away
To sneak you out on a “by myself” day,
But my conscious just wouldn’t let me do it.
Thank you for your service and for the joy that you brought me,
Your humor, your size, your years of holding my coffee
Perhaps you are truly ready for mug heaven.
(or the back hidden corner of the cupboard which no one uses – see you soon!)
