Month: December 2018

On the Brink

Happy New Year’s Eve! Happy Last Day of 2018! May it be fun, fabulous and the perfect closure to the year! Happy Anniversary, Betsey! My beautiful friend Betsey got married on NYE and it was truly one of the most fun, festive weddings that I have ever been to, mostly because everyone was up for a really good time! It was also so beautiful and sacred. If you ever get the chance to get married on NYE, jump on it! It is the perfect day for a wedding and a wonderful way to start the new year, all in the spirit of love, hope and excitement.

Typically, I feel very spiritual and reflective on NYE. Years ago, I read about a NYE ritual that sounded really interesting to try, so my husband and I and some of our kids have done it on several NYEs now. We write two lists. On one list we write all of the things, experiences, habits, blessings, etc. that we are thankful for in this year and some of these events and ways of being that we hope to continue with, into the new year. We also write on this list, all of the new things, experiences, habits, blessings, etc. that we are hoping for in the new year. We then seal these lists in an envelope with the upcoming year marked on the outside and we store this envelope in a cabinet for the entire year. On our second list, we write a list of things that, while we are thankful for the lessons that these experiences have taught us, we no longer wish to have as a focus in our lives anymore. We burn that list during the evening of NYE, in a small camp fire with some white sage, again thankful for the teachings and good aspects that came from that particular event, experience, habit, but now wanting to say good-bye and to cleanse ourselves from any negativity, by burning that list away.

I just looked at my intention list that I wrote on NYE 2017 for the year of 2018 and I’m excited to see how much of what I had hoped for, actually happened this year. 2018 was a good year! It was a year full of excitement, change and growth for me. I’m excited to spend some time reflecting on what I hope to see in 2019 and writing it all down on a physical list to be stored in our cabinet this year. Truth be told, the list is probably already forming and preparing itself to be manifested on paper, but stored in my heart and in my hopes, for the year to come.

May everything heavy on your hearts be burned away with only the helpful lessons and blessings being retained, to help you on your Life’s journey! May all of your hopes and expectations for the new year come true, in even better form than you can possibly imagine! May happy surprises and profound lessons bless us all in the new year! May continued abundant blessings abound for all of us for the entirety of 2019!

Just Three Words

I was reading an interesting post on Smart Thinking on Twitter. The author asked his followers to describe 2018 in three words. Some people didn’t have such a great 2018. Here were some of their answers:

I no like.

Thank you, next.

Ha, I tried.

2019 Come Fast.

Waste of time.

Worst so far.

WTF

It sounds like some people had an above average kind of a year. Here are their replies:

Ups and Downs.

Not so Bad.

Follow Your Heart.

Learned to Forgive.

Persistence, perspiration and patience

Some people seemed to really like 2018. This is how they answered:

Change is good.

All is well.

Fun, teaching, travel.

Blessed. Loved. Strengthened.

A great year.

One person just came off as funny and clever. This is how he answered:

Two thousand eighteen.

If I were to answer the question, Exciting, Exhilarating and Exhausting came to mind right away. I wouldn’t mind for 2019 to be those same three words, although I somehow would like to change “exhausting” to “energizing.” I probably should put a little more emphasis on physical health this coming year, for that to happen.

I like reflecting on the past year, thinking about what I would like to keep in the new year and what has served its purpose, and now is time to discard. I read recently to not call goals for the new year “resolutions”, but more “intentions”, to keep the focus on the positive and the possible. I like that. I also read recently that if you are having a hard time deciding what you want in life, think about the things that you don’t want and turn that around to what you do want. So, if you don’t want drama and craziness in 2019, that can be turned around to what you do want – peace and harmony. Once you figure out what you do want, you can think about smaller steps you can take to achieve your intention.

I’ve always enjoyed this time of year. I find it, well, Exciting, Exhilarating and Energizing! How would you describe your 2018 in three words? How would you like to describe your upcoming 2019 in three words, using your best intentions?

Because, as one responder stated:

Life goes on.

Live Love

Today, my great aunt’s body is being put in its resting place. Her beautiful spirit is already free in Heaven with my grandmother, her other siblings and all those people she loved, who have already passed on. My Aunt Mary Lou passed on Christmas day. She fought cancer for 28 years. She held on as long as she could to be with those she treasured most – her beloved husband, children and grandchildren. They knew how much she loved them, because she never held back in that regard.

My Aunt Mary Lou was my grandmother’s youngest sibling and the last of the five of them, to leave Earth, and to go to Heaven. I was the flower girl in her wedding. Unfortunately, as these things happen with extended families, lives get busy, and our relationship dwindled to seeing each other on the occasional wedding or funeral and exchanging Christmas cards. Still, I never doubted her strong love for me and my family, ever. I had heard in early December that hospice had been called. I went to a little chapel where I like to pray, on Hope St. (that’s a real place) There, I lit a candle for her. I texted her some pictures. She texted me back that she loved me and my family so much. I have a lovely little ornament on our Christmas tree from her. She sent it to me when I was pregnant with my first son. It is a wooden heart and on it, she hand wrote (she had lovely, distinctive handwriting), “Baby – we love you already.”

Aunt Mary Lou wasn’t very rich or very famous, or very educated, but she knew what counts. She knew what was really important and she lived it. She lived love. It’s that simple. Rest in peace, dear one. Thank you for touching my life.

It’s Friday, Light a Candle

“Friday increases the happiness all around the world by 11%.” – Famous Quotes Daily

That’s just an average. I’m sure that on certain Fridays, that percentage is doubled, maybe even tripled in certain corners of the world. Happy Friday, my dear friends! This is the last Friday of the year of 2018! I hope that you have had a wonderful holiday season and an intriguing, exciting year with an even better year coming, in the future! New readers, I write about three of my favorite things or songs or books or websites, etc. every Friday, keeping Fridays what they should be – a break from all of the seriousness of life. Please look in the archives for other Friday suggestions if you are looking for ways to spend your Christmas money!

I’ve told you before about how much I like scented candles. I like them so much that I once lit our dining room table on fire (see July or August archives). I also like to float lighted coconut shell candles in our pool on special occasions. (you can order those from vendors on Etsy) Anyway, I have a closet full of candles and I love them all, but if I had to pick just three to keep, these brands and scents would have to be it:

Lollia Candles (out of Denver) – these candles come in lovely, colorful, cubed boxes that make them seem almost too pretty to burn. They make wonderful gifts for people and all of their scents are amazing, but if I had to pick one scent, it would be number 88 Velvet as Night. The scent is mysterious, sensual and exotic.

Blue Flame Candles (out of Stuart, Florida) – these candles are strongly scented in fabulous way. If you need to replace a terrible scent with a much better scent, this is your go-to candle. They have scents like I have never smelled before. My favorite of theirs is Golden Patchouli, but they are all very nice.

MVP Group Candles (out of Charleston, SC) – I have only bought this one particular candle of theirs because it has a neat, beachy look to me. The scent is fabulous. It is called Warm Beachwood. The container is a beautiful milky, light blue iridescent glass with an intricate carved, copper lid. I love it lit and unlit!

Feel free to tell me your favorite candles and scents. I can make room in my closet!

“It’s Friday! I haven’t been this excited since my phone got stuck on vibrate.” – Someecards

Conehead

Josie, our 7 month-old collie puppy got spayed yesterday. Since she is an older puppy, she’s already about 45 pounds and pretty tall. She has to wear one of those giant cones on her head for about ten days, so that she doesn’t lick her stitches. She looks like a walking, furry funnel. Josie’s being an amazingly good sport about it all. I already know that I will learn a lot about being good-natured and rolling with the punches, from her. When I feel myself being annoyed when she nudges me, making me feel like I am being sucked in by a giant suction cup, I think about how aggravating it must be to navigate one’s surroundings, with a giant plastic cone wrapped around one’s head, especially, when you are a little loopy on pain meds, to boot. Watching her eat and drink with it, is the most fascinating thing to watch. As a claustrophobic person by nature, I’m in awe that the cone isn’t making her crazy. But that just doesn’t seem to be her way of being. She’s definitely a “go with the flow” kind of gal.

Ralphie, our lab, seems a little disturbed with the conehead chasing him around. His new friend seems a bit more ominous with a big plastic vortex surrounding her head. It’s kind of like when a lizard expands its throat or a bird fluffs out its feathers, even though you know that logically, it’s the same small animal, you can’t help but give it a little extra respect, wide berth and a little more breathing room. Maybe Josie is focusing on the positives of this conehead experience – more power, sympathy and respect.

I have a dentist appointment this afternoon, that I’ve been dreading. It will involve some drilling. I’ve already rescheduled it three times. As I look at my fluffy puppy, sweetly trying to gnaw at her chew toy while not being able to hold it steady in her paws, I am gaining some courage and inspiration. Josie is just happy to be home again with her new family who is crazy about her. She’s focused on the positive.

“You’ll have bad times, but it’ll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren’t paying attention to.” – Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting

Back to Reality

So, Christmas is over for another year. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly everything gets back to “normal.” I woke up this morning and my mind went instantly to the “to do” list. In some ways, this feels good. A lot of the distractions are over and the focus can be on the upcoming new year, but it is always strange to have an event that is thought of and planned for, for about a month ahead of time, to all of the sudden, just be over. I guess this is when the dreaded “let down” happens for a lot of people. I’ve honestly never gotten that feeling too badly. I usually have reached my saturation point with all of the “out of the ordinary” – eating, drinking, parties, get-togethers, red and green decorations, extra stuff to sort and to put away, etc. I start to really crave and look forward to “the ordinary”. I’ve said it before, but I do think that it is an added blessing of the holidays, to start getting a true appreciation and desire for your own every day life. Maybe that’s part of the design of the holiday season.

“At some point, you gotta let go, and sit still and allow contentment to come to you.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

“In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy.” – Albert Clarke

Tenderness, Courage, Hope

Merry, merry Christmas, my dear family, friends and faithful readers. You mean so much to me! Last night we attended a candlelight church service. At the end of the service, the pastor remarked on the fact that he is always in awe of how much light can come from just one small light. The large, packed church was illuminated so brightly and beautifully by all of our candles, yet every single candle in the church had been lit from the small, ordinary original candle that the pastor was holding.

I took from that message, just how important it is to spread your own light. Spread your own love. More comes from that, than you could ever know. Your light has touched my life in such a beautiful way. By writing this blog, something has awakened in me that was lying dormant for years. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your kindness, validation and steadfastness. It is so appreciated. You are one of my greatest gifts of 2018, as I find myself reflecting on this past year.

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” – Garrison Keillor

Thank you for agreeing to reflect on this Second Half of Adulting with me. Thank you for taking this journey with me with the light of curiosity, hope, connectivity and humor. Merry Christmas to all of you – you are beautiful lights in my life. We are in this, together. We are strong, capable and have a lot more to give, do and be, before our light fades.

“What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future.” – Agnes M. Pahro

A Good Day for a Good Day

Merry Christmas Eve, my friends! I recently saw a sign that said, “Today is a good day for a good day!” Sometimes we think we don’t have control of what kind of day that we will have, but honestly, we do have a lot of control of our daily experience. It really does always come down to perspective.

The first year that we moved to Florida from up north, I was in a store, talking to a clerk (story of my life) and I was complaining how weird it was to have a warm Christmas. I was telling the clerk that I was finding it difficult to believe that it was Christmas-time and that I was having a hard time getting into the holiday spirit. Christmases should be cold with a chance of snow is what I was thinking and conveying. I guess that I finally got on her nerves enough, so that she finally retorted, “Hmmm, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that Jesus was born in a climate a lot more like this, with palm trees, to boot.”

I like it when people wallop me back into the reality of how I’m coming across. I honestly do, especially when I agree with them. I read another really good piece of knowledge on Twitter (FofF) the other day. It went like this: Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.

I think I want to be my own best friend on this lovely Christmas Eve. I don’t want to create unnecessary storms for myself or for others. I want to try to focus on all of the good stuff. My husband and I are so lucky to have all four of our kids home for the holidays this year. I’m having so much fun getting to know our new fluffy puppy. Today really is a good day for a good day! I hope that today’s among the best days that you’ve had, all year long, my friends! Merry Christmas Eve!

And Along Came Josie

So, we all knew that this was coming. After days of me and our dog Ralphie, lying around in morose corpse poses, after the loss of our elderly collie, Lacey, we started looking at websites for other dogs. Our family has never had just one dog at a time. We like things in multiples – kids (4), pets (plenty). I’ve always had a soft spot of compassion, for anyone who lives right next to us. Anyway, I told my husband that I want our next dog to be large, full of soft fur, gentle, yet a good guard dog, good with kids and other pets, easy to train, elegant, yet sporty enough to keep up with our crazy, energy-filled 18 month old labrador, Ralphie. However, due to my rawness over the loss of our legendary collie, Lacey, we couldn’t get another collie. He looked at my list of requirements, and placated me for a while as I poured through dog books and websites, and finally, he softly asked, “Are you sure we shouldn’t get another collie?”

Our new puppy is a 7 month-old collie named Josie. She does have different coloring than Lacey, but otherwise she has already proven to be a perfect example of why we adore collies. She reminds me so much of Lacey, it sometimes brings tears to my eyes, but she is definitely less timid than Lace, deciding that our socks make for wonderful toys, swimming with Ralphie might be fun, all of the Christmas presents under the tree must be hers, and that counter surfing can make for a fun sport, especially when you have a long nose. As our beloved veterinarian Dr. Pablo said to Josie (and I kind of think that he might have been talking to me, as well), “Oh, Josie, you have BIG shoes to fill. But every puppy is his or her OWN puppy. Every puppy is special.”

Sadly Happy and Happily Sad

I’m going to be very un-PC and use this inopportune time of the year to be a little bah-humbug. You see, not everyone loves the holidays. Not everyone is Buddy the Elf. In fact, some people dread the holidays, like no other time of the year. Most of the people I know, who I am intimate enough to be honest with, have a lot of mixed-bag emotions around this time of the year. And that’s okay. I’m one of those mixed-bag people. Some of the holiday events make me feel excited, happy, joyful and peaceful. Some holiday events make me feel sad, nostalgic, aggravated, resentful and bring up old grief.

I consider myself an optimistic, upbeat person. I don’t like being around Debbie Downers, nor do I want to be perceived as one. That being said, it’s okay to move your thoughts to the positive aspects of the holiday season, without denying that the sad, painful, thoughts arise sometimes, too. I just try to notice those darker thoughts, accept them and then refocus on things that I am looking forward to, in the new year.

In the end, I want you to know that I will be a constant throughout the holidays. I have posted every single day since the middle of July and I will continue to post every single day until I run out of things to say and I guarantee you, that unless my mind, hands, or wifi stops working, I will continue to post on a daily basis throughout the holidays to the new year, for certain. So, if you need a break from it all, grab a gingerbread cookie and come sit with my post. I’ll feel your presence and you can feel mine. Whatever you’re feeling is okay. If you are merry or lonely, over-excited or depressed, it’s all okay. If you are filled with hilarity or filled with pent-up frustration, feel your feels and set them free. I’m here for you. I understand. Don’t try to change your feelings. Just let them be. Believe it or not, your feelings are a precious gift from above. They are proof of just how vividly alive you are and how you are so attuned to the experience of Life.

“Christmas brings me a sense of nostalgia that makes me feel sadly happy and at the same time, happily sad!” – Jean-Paul Malfatti